And I Lost Myself - A Light-Hearted Comedy

HAVE. YOU. SEEN. THIS. GUY?

I know...that title is completely dramatic. But I am also a dramatic person by nature. However, despite the dramatization of it all, I truly believe that I lost myself in Athens while studying abroad - or rather a part of me that I can no longer seek here back in the states. What does that mean exactly? I mean, are we not just floating dust in a vastly widening universe with no defined purpose or destiny (as some believe)? That's a little morbid. What I'm talking about here is how my experiences took something from my essence of life - an intangible way of feeling - and stranded 
it in Athens. Of all places. Well...at least it's not Antartica.



Upon arriving, the urban elements of Greece tested my navigation experience as I flailed to rely on map screenshots and directions to get from the airport to the city. Unlike LAX where the airport is within the city, I had to take a 40 minute metro ride across the southern tip to the west where Athens was located. After getting off, I continued to wonder the same neighborhoods and winding streets for an hour, asking 4 different strangers to help direct me to the hotel I was staying at (at this point, the student apartments weren't ready). Of course, this is just an instance of physical lostness. But it unknowingly foreshadowed the inescapable reality check and near out of body experience that the study abroad experience was going to take me on.

Where's Waldo? More like where's Chris?
Tip: I'm wearing a yellow shirt ;)

After that first night and next morning, something had definitely shifted. Usually I would've been having some subtle anxiety, trying to hold it back from a panic attack, but instead I felt a dreamesque adrenaline creating a film over my mind and body. I wanted to do everything and anything, yet I was split between the reality that I was in Greece and the reality I subconsciously kept through memories and the past. It's hard for me to describe - especially when everything I've been saying has been vague and not too specific - but another way to imagine how I lived is to reflect on yourself right now. You're reading this actively, with whatever voice you chose to narrate my words, not giving a second thought to who you are or who you were (unless you're that introspective...then I should get on your level). YES, this is basically the essence of "living", but what I felt was amplified and conjoined into one emotion. As I was walking down the streets, I summoned bursts of intrigue mixed with hesitance and vividness. Something was there that I haven't felt before.


It was escapism. A distraction from the life I lived before, one that I didn't know I needed until then. I am the type of person that craves change and searches for adventure at every opportunity. And there, at the heart of Athens, a completely new part of the world, I inherently sought out escapism. The strength from it gripped on so hard that it anchored a part of me there, left to the bustling footsteps and loud echoes of the city; left to the grumbling of ruins resurfacing to reclaim their world, and show everyone that you can't forget history. And to this day, I can still feel myself tugging at me here in the states, to make me remember that I am still in Athens walking among the Greeks, trying to assimilate into their culture. I can see it now: a glistening golden essence prancing in between the men, women, and children, starry-eyed and laughing with joy at the simplest details of life, but mesmerized at the what I've done and what I've yet to do. One day I will return to get him back, but I can't promise that I won't get lost again.

Last seen wandering the streets near Kallimarmaro, and through the national gardens 👀👀👀

-Christopher Hutchinson