Pre-Departure Thoughts

     I will be leaving to Dublin, Ireland this Saturday. To tell the truth, I have experienced more stress than excitement in the weeks leading up to my departure date.  I have had problems with my financial situation which have caused anxiety anout the trip and how I would be funding my travels. At one point, I even thought about dropping the program because I was worried I wouldn’t have any money left when I arrived in Dublin.  Luckily, I was able to fix my situation and I found out that the financial aid office failed to award me one of the scholarships I had been selected for. I had been very stressed about how I was going to pay the program fees because I expected to receive no monetary support from my mother. This is not because she wouldn’t help me but rather I would not accept her help knowing that she is not in the best place financially. She was very eager to help me anyway possible but I urged her to not worry. 

     I was able to pay off the whole program with scholarships and a small loan. I now feel a lot more comfortable about traveling to a whole new continent and exploring Europe for the first time. I am beyond relieved to finally have my situation figured out and can now focus on preparing from my travels. My mother is also very relieved as she was worried about how stressful this trip was making me. I have started to feel more excited about studying abroad. It almost feels surreal to me. A part of me didn’t fully believe that I would be going on this trip. I was even hesitant to tell people about my travels because I wasn’t sure it was actually happening. Now that my departure date is arriving and I have what I need, it’s finally setting in that I will be flying to Europe this summer and exploring the country for 5 weeks. 

     I am both excited and nervous to go on a plane for the first time in my life. Now that I am able to focus on my trip and not stress myself about money, I find myself anxious about other things. I want to use this trip to step outside of my comfort zone and be more courageous. This summer I have been very antisocial, not wanting to talk to people or hang out with friends. I want to push myself to explore a different side of who am I and engage in new experiences. My plan for now is to just relax and prepare myself mentally so I am able to fully enjoy my experience and live with no regrets about my decisions.

Marcos Beltran